This is not a professional relationship advice, yet you can call it a street relationship crash course. Relationship mistakes are avoidable irrespective of your gender, no one is perfect we all make mistakes and that makes us human. Repeating the same mistakes over and over again can be depressing, that’s why we must learn from our past and from others. These common mistakes I’m going to share with you are not made up, some happened to me and others I learned from observing friends, acquaintances, family, and co-workers. I am confident enough to say I learned a thing or few about courtship before I met my life partner.
1. Not doing your Research
It is totally fine to do a background check on the person you are possibly going to spend the rest of your life with. Remember all rumors about people have an element of truth, you can possibly uncover some unpleasant secrets about the person online or from someone else. They may be lies or the truth, do a thorough research and don’t forget to ask the person questions. Never assume.
2. Allowing your promiscuous bestie do the matchmaking
We all have one player friend that prides on how easy they can get someone to hook up with, and these friends are always willing to play cupid. Chances are they will introduce you to someone that they had dated in the past, and that never ends well. Many times, these ex-lovebirds will be hooking up behind your back during the course of your relationship or marriage and you’ll be the fool. Please save yourself the pain of a heartache or broken marriage and keep your relationship life fall away from the likes of them.
3. Not waiting until the time is right for sex
This is a sensitive topic because views differ regarding how early people can start having sex in a relationship. Some persons say it’s best to abstain before marriage, others don’t think it is necessary. Irrespective of what sides you choose, get yourself and your partner tested for STI before becoming sexually intimate. It is better to get to know someone and ensure they have made major steps to stay in a relationship with you, before talking about sex. After all, you can build sexual tension and increase attraction by waiting for a while till you are ready. If Anne Boleyn could melt the heart of Henry VIII and kept him waiting for her love. Anyone can do it.
4. Unconsciously disrespecting yourself
Many of us feel we need to prove ourselves by being overly nice to the point of being a pushover. Such persons easily get taken for granted and disrespected in a relationship. Even with regular friendships, when you appear too nice or eager to make a new friend their egos may become inflated and they might begin to think they are too good for you. Research shows that men and women would rather marry someone who does not bend to their every whelm. There you go! The same way ladies find bad boys super attractive because they are not nice. It also helps to say no sometimes in a relationship because it keeps your partner on their toes.
5. Being attached too early in a relationship
Early attachment in a relationship can make it end before it even began. Many people get infatuated with the person they are dating, that can cloud their reason. This is erroneously called LOVE, It is not! Rather it is the constant release of dopamine by your nerve cells giving you an ecstatic feeling. Under the influence of attachment* many people end up buying gifts and spending their life savings on a total stranger, they invest and invest till they break their backs. Persons with this weakness can become targets for scammers on dating sites and on the streets.
*It is an addictive drug
Wikipedia Anne Boleyn